And since I've gone back to deep breathing exercises, I'm in love with everything. Sun, sky, wind, stream, every animal. Even people. Can't be bad.
How weird to think that back in February, I was entering a room for an x-ray that would tell me if the pain in my arm / shoulder was the return of my kidney cancer. That sad monster shows up pretty clearly on an x-ray. It eats holes, grows barnacles, and takes your being in less than a year. And there I was thinking -- telling myself -- if this is so, I accept it. That I know I'll always be with my kids, inside them, part of the golden chain, silver thread, whatever it moves you to call it. But now! -- I can't imagine that I could be so ready to let my life go. I love being in this body, in this world.
Conspiracy: Take that word apart: Conspire: Plot the future: Make it good. Breathing in accord----------------> < Latin conspīrāre to act in harmony, conspire, equivalent to con- con- + spīrāre to breathe; see spirant, spirit