our greatest blessings come to us by way of madness Phaedr. 244a

2012/08/13

shiny

Yesterday was thing after thing, all of them SHINY. And me with my new eyes. Had the most wonderful thing happen. We like to walk around the park here and I look for 4 leaf clovers, often find them... and a few weeks ago, just came upon a shiny pink ribbon... walked on... came upon what was surely a magic wand -- looked like a tree branch, but wait. I tied the shiny ribbon around it and yes -- magic. Walked on. There was the loveliest little girl who looked at me, and I asked her if she believed in magic. YES, she said, so I gave her the wand. Which proves its magic. Then, yesterday, was making a nice walking stick that I abandoned because surely part of it was a magic wand... carried that part a bit, sharpened it, wondered at it, then realized how silly all this is. Began to eat heart. I'm really an idiot. REALLY, etc. What am I doing, carrying this stick around? At the time, my husband was complaining that I was critical of him, his not taking care of his spine -- and yes, I have tried to get him to do his exercises for oh, say, the last 20 years. But it isn't personal, my banging my head against the wall on this. I'm just trying anyway I can to motivate him. The dopamine reward curve (at ~ 25% reward) wore out and wasn't effective. Tough love has been -- tough. On me, mostly. But, o fate. Here we are. And there I was yesterday with stick in park, feeling like a fool. Sun vanishes from heart, and how do you live like that? BUT THEN -- just as I came to the curve, a little boy, maybe 6 or 7, looked at me with the bluest eyes. "What is that stick for?" he asked. Well! "It's for you. It's a magic stick. A wand," I told him, and he took it, loved it, got it. "Say thank you," said the father. Later, I told my son about this, and he reminded me that the wand chooses the wizard. Indeed.