our greatest blessings come to us by way of madness Phaedr. 244a


hey there, daughter #2 here today, adding a bit of ~*flair*~ to this average mommy blogger's space on the interwebz!

so one thing that really really pisses me off (i think we are up to #8135739 on the things i hate list) is how it is acceptable for young men to be dirty and disorganized. the dirty and disorganized part isn't the part that really pisses me off (although i am disturbed by lack of cleanliness- not that i am the CLEANEST person in the WORLD, but i'd say i am cleaner than most of the people i have ever lived with), it's the 'acceptable' part. it's like it's acceptable for guys to be disgusting because their whole lives they've been taught that *GIRLS* are the ones who clean things, leading to their derelict behavior just being a 'normal dude thing.' it's only a 'normal dude thing' because you grew up in a culture where women aren't supposed to have any interests or hobbies or be bread winners and therefore their time is disposable and they can spend it doing stuff like tidying and generally TAKING CARE OF THINGS. but men have INTERESTS and REAL THINGS TO DO unlike women so they don't have 'time' to clean, obviously!

all cleaning products on tv are CLEARLY advertised towards women (with some like Mr Clean even being generous enough to give women a sexy bald roided out pirate dude on the bottle to fantasize about while they're scrubbing their lives away). i can't stand anytime an ad for a cleaning product comes on and its always Mom washing her greasy burned casserole plate that fed the hungry junior soccer team! Mom dancing with the swiffer like tom cruise in risky business, go on with your bad self girl! Mom busting those soiled laundry stains in half the time- now that she has a spot remover she has real independence, women's lib fuck yeah! 

also let's not forget about 'feminine hygiene' products in which women have a *special* need to be clean, as seen in Girl smiling to herself about how FRESH her naturally dirty and gross vagina smells now! (which is then followed by Dude has girls that want to fuck him because he's *showered*!)


it's like these men's mothers always cleaned up all of their shit and nagged them about it, and once they've moved out their girlfriend will be the one who nags and cleans. and its just normal because GIRLS ARE JUST CLEAN BY NATURE, THEY'D JUST RATHER SPEND THEIR TIME NOT DOING AWESOME THINGS. and GOD FORBID a girl is *messy*, that is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. mostly to other females, but also to men if the not cleaning involves their shit. haven't done your laundry in a month because you haven't run out of underwear and the machine in your building only takes $10 and $20 bills (like mine)? -are you M or F? if M: that's so funny, sometimes i play call of duty so much i forget to do laundry too! if F: HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF? GTFO! 

there are many girls who are seriously disgusting, i am aware. and, aside from my natural disposition of being repulsed by living in crusty filth, i sort of want to say more power to them for not giving a shit. but women are SUPPOSED to be neat and organized and clean or it's not ATTRACTIVE to men! it's okay for them to be dirty, they're just being GUYS!

i can so see a dude reading that and being like "no, i like a girl who isn't so nit-picky and obsessed with cleanliness! i like her to be messy and disorganized and quirky and a FREE SPIRIT like kirsten dunst in some early 2000s movie or something!"

oh really? okay so how about this free spirit leaving pubes and body hair and piss on the floor of the bathroom when you come over? and how about she spills food all over the stove and leaves it to crust over for months? a totally clogged sink full of dishes and rotting food? a sticky floor covered in trash? or maybe she vomits on the carpet somewhere and doesnt really ever clean it up? sheets that could rip in half they're so stiff with semen? because i sure as HELL have seen all of these as 'normal dude things!' but if a girl did this a guy would never tolerate it. pretty sure you still want a free spirit who takes care of her living space (and yours), dudes.

i believe in washing things and sanitizing surfaces and keeping shit not gross. i just do. i think everyone should. but dont you just love how most times when you go to an apartment full of dudes it is UNLIVABLE? even professional dudes. crusted grossness everywhere and just general unkempt ridiculousness? (okay obviously there ARE clean guys, many of them, this is a FACT... but an unreliable one) it pisses me off because it's just like so INGRAINED in boys that they don't have to spend their time taking care of shit because someone else (*ahem*) will do it for them. oh right, they just aren't used to living on their own! awwww... they dont have mom around anymore, they dont know what to do! i'm honestly supposed to accept that they 'just dont care' about cleanliness as much as girls do? -they don't care because they dont THINK about it because they were never made to have to!

i dont really want to keep going on about this 'normal dude thing!' category and what goes in it, like how rape could probably qualify by considering how common it is. most of the time when i hear men argue about a 'normal woman thing!' it's utter crap. "women can get out of trouble with cops if they FLIRT because theyre PRETTY! HOW IS THAT FAIR?!" oh ok so we're supposed to be grateful that a person of law enforcement might not give us a ticket based on whether or not we meet their standard of attractiveness? "women are just bad drivers! we all know that!" any kind of 'normal woman thing' is usually just a shitty effect of 'normal dude thing.' like waxing your snatch is a normal woman thing, because it's a normal dude thing for guys to not like any body hair on a woman, which is caused by People Who Told Us That Was Normal, like porn stars and celebrities and other intellectuals whom we should all really be listening to.

well, whatever, i guess i've got to go make a man a sandwich now.